Dating was much simpler around the age of 18 or 20. If the girl was cute and she thought you were okay, you dated. Now that I'm knocking on 30, things have changed. People ask questions now. People ask lots of questions and they ask them early; as in, the first five minutes early. While I do understand people aren't into wasting time at this age and that biological clocks are ticking, I must still graciously tell you, ladies, there's just some stuff that I don't appreciate.
As of late, I'm noticing a certain trend ever increasingly. It seems as if within the first five minutes of meeting a woman she will inevitably ask, "Do you want kids?" On the surface that seems rather harmless. In fact, it would seem quite natural for a woman close to 30, not wanting to waste time, to ask such a question early on in the game. As I continue to have these conversations and listen more intently, however, I hear something else coming through that actually does more than concern me: it completely turns me off. As I listen to many ladies speak of their hopes, dreams and the life they've planned, it seems that a play has already been written and all that is a needed is an actor to read the lines penned. In other words, you've planned a life complete with a 4 bedroom home, picket fence and MOST importantly, babies. All that is needed now to achieve the ultimate dream- babies- is to stick a man into the role of baby maker.
I learned a long time ago that women don't want to be number one in a man's life. Rather, a woman wants to be the only one. As a woman, there's a natural desire for security and part of that is to know you are special to a man, that you are uniquely essential to his world in a way that no other entity is. Believe it or not, men desire to feel that way too. We want to know that we are special to you. We'd like to feel that we are primary and not secondary; not merely an actor in a larger production. Indeed, we'd like to be the inspiration for the show. When I listen to certain women, it seems that children are the dream. There's certainly nothing wrong with having children. The problem is, a fantasy surrounding children has already been created in your mind and you merely need to plug in a guy to achieve it. It's as if you're assembling a desk and you just need to put in one nail to hold it together. It's not about the nail, it's the desk you really want but you just need the nail to make it work.
I’m not suggesting that just any man will do for you, ladies. I'm simply trying to have a transparent moment. I don't want to be made to feel as if I'm merely secondary to your grand scheme. In the same way, I'm sure no woman would appreciate a man who really wants to be a politician but really needs a wife for the public image. I don't want to feel as if I'm the nail you need to assemble that perfect desk. If I should surrender my life and freedom to you, I'd kinda like to feel that it's about me and that I'm not just a means to a larger end goal. If children are your primary goal in life, I'd rather not be the guy you plug into the equation.