This is not the blog I originally intended to write. Truth is, there was a completely different topic I wanted to write about but I didn't. Why? Well, if I should do that, people might know the real me. I'm afraid of that. If I gave my true thoughts, real fears and actual perceptions, perhaps people wouldn't like me. Maybe people would punish me for being honest. That tends to happen far too much in our world.
We all know that people send their representatives to the first date, the third date and perhaps the first three years of a relationship. Politicians say that which will garner votes and raise money. Nobody is particularly transparent at work, lest they not climb the ladder. This is what we do, what we are well adjusted to. In fact, as much as people dogged Mitt Romney for his "flip flopping" the truth is, he's merely a reflection of all of us: we give the audience- our boss, our significant others and peers- what we think they want. My concern in all this is that we never get to know the people around us, those we vote for or even those we wish to be intimate with.
I tell people often, I have many issues but sincerity is not one of them: I'm a bit too honest much of the time. It has hurt me. I've lost out on jobs because I was a bit too forthcoming. I've seen women walk away because I dared to say what I honestly believed. I've thought many times that perhaps I should moderate my honesty. Who wants to lose out on money and pleasure when it could be avoided? I don't particularly but at the same time, I don't want to build anything based on lies. If I chose an outfit to wear based on an inaccurate weather forecast, I would be in a horrible position all day. It stands to reason, then, a life or career built off anything less than extreme honesty is destined for misery and failure ultimately.
Even so, I often find myself afraid to be me. Life teaches you- after being punished enough for "keepin' it real"- that honesty can be painful. Being truthful isn't always appreciated, although we adamantly claim that we value honesty. Perhaps we should simply stop saying that we want truth and admit that we want to simply feel good. We'd rather not hear that we should lose weight, preferring to hear instead that we look great. We'd rather not know that our significant other doesn't agree with our beliefs or value that which we do. So I'm afraid. I know no other way to be but sincere, yet I know that it may very well result in me being punished. The constant debate rages on.